Tuning In: The Power of a Teacher’s Words

When a teacher speaks, students listen. Not just because of volume, but because of influence. A teacher’s words carry weight—shaping confidence, self-perception, even a student’s future.

I’ll never forget when Mr. Sterling, my middle school history teacher, told me over lunch, “You’re a good writer.” No one had ever said that to me before. Those five words stuck with me for life—not because they were profound, but because he said them. Teachers, to students, are wise, honest, and tuned in. His words gave me the confidence to write—and keep writing.

Because teachers have this kind of power, the conversations they have with students must be conversations worth having. And the first step is learning how to tune in.

Who’s Showing Up to the Conversation?

As authors Stavros and Torres remind us, we must ask: Who is driving the conversation? Is it the calm, caring, coffee-fueled teacher who’s fully present? Or the frazzled, hungry version who just left chaotic lunch duty?

And just as important—who are we showing up for? Are we seeing our students clearly, with openness and curiosity, or through the lens of past behavior and unchecked assumptions? Tuning in helps us show up as the teacher we want to be. It connects us with the teacher who once inspired us, not the one we feared. And the good news? Teaching offers us endless chances to try again.

The Cost of Tuning Out

I once led an after-school program and had a challenging student—let’s call him Lincoln. He often pushed back at the start of activities, and I took it personally. One day, I snapped.

Frustrated and exhausted, I pulled him into the hallway and blurted, “If you don’t like anything we do, why do you even come?”

His face fell, his shoulders slumped. “Because school sucks less than home,” he said.

That moment stopped me cold. I had misread everything. He wasn’t defiant—he was surviving. And I had just become the teacher I never wanted to be.

From that day on, I made a commitment to tune in—to get curious instead of making assumptions. And thankfully, because teaching gives us many “do-overs,” I had the chance to rebuild my relationship with him. Over time, Lincoln became a student leader. But I still wonder: what if I had tuned in from the beginning?

How do you tune in? By pausing, breathing, and getting curious.

My Tuning In Practice

Since reading Conversations Worth Having, I’ve developed a quick personal routine that helps me reset before lessons:

1. Breathe deeply. A slow inhale, holding it for about 25 seconds before slowly exhaling, helps ground me. A few more deep, intentional breaths settles my body and mind. You can sense when your body-mindset is settled.
2. Visualize an inspiring teacher. I often picture Mr. Rogers—his calm, curious presence. I imagine absorbing his demeanor with each breath. Who are your examples of calm, focused, and present teachers?
3. Focus on my students. I think about my students trying to keep an open feeling of wonder. I picture their faces, where they sit, and what they look like when they’re engaged and learning. I might think about the positive things each student brings to the class. This helps me see them with fresh eyes.

The whole routine takes less than two minutes—and when time is short, I tune in with my students. A collective pause and deep breath can reset the whole room and open space for curiosity. It helps bring everyone present and ready to learn.

Looking Ahead

I still think about that conversation with Lincoln. I’m grateful I had the chance to repair the relationship. I know more meaningful moments could’ve emerged if I had been tuned in from the start.

Teachers hold incredible power. Every word, every exchange, can echo far beyond the moment. When we pause, take a breath, and get curious, we are tuned in, ready to transform not just our conversations—but the lives of our students.

Let’s make all our conversations with students conversations worth having!

Shared by Andy Gavalis, EdD and certified CWH Trainer. I envision classrooms where every teacher and student can illuminate their learning potential. I believe Appreciative Inquiry is a powerful tooll to transform classrooms into caring, curious, and creative communities of learners.

Want to learn more?

To learn more about tuning in, you can read Conversations Worth Having or take the 30-minute CWH Foundations Course. In honor of Andy's contribution, we're offering a 25% discount on the course through August 31. Use coupon code ANDY at check out.