Make This Holiday Season Joyful (Not Stressful): Two Books to Keep You Calm, Connected, and Kind

The holidays are here—a season of twinkling lights, shared meals, familiar faces, and those moments of genuine joy that remind us why this time of year matters.

And yet… 
Alongside the celebration, many of us also face the other side of the holidays: overeating, over-drinking, juggling gift-giving on a budget, trying to please everyone, travel logistics, and navigating those wonderfully complicated family dynamics. Even the people we love most can trigger holiday stress.

High stress means high cortisol—a primary stress hormone—surges through our bodies. And while cortisol is great for helping us rise to a challenge, it also flips the switch on our defense mechanisms. Suddenly, we’re more irritable, more likely to shut down or snap, and less able to communicate clearly. A harmless comment becomes a spark. A well-intended conversation spirals. A holiday gathering that could have been joyful becomes one of those, “Thank goodness that’s over!” memories.

But this year can be different.

Two Books That Can Transform Your Holiday Experience

If you want more ease, more connection, and more meaningful conversations this season, these two books can help:

• Vagus Nerve Reset Decoded: Science-Based Tools to Relieve Chronic Stress, Improve Focus, and Build Emotional Resilience Even with a Busy Schedule by Anna Liotta
• Conversations Worth Having: Using Appreciative Inquiry to Fuel Productive and Meaningful Engagement by Jackie Stavros & Cheri Torres

Together, they offer practical, science-backed tools that support stress relief, emotional regulation, and effective communication. The wisdom in these books will keep you grounded, calm, and intentional—especially when the people you’re with are feeling as stressed as you.

Reset Your Nervous System in Real Time

Anna Liotta’s Vagus Nerve Reset Decoded is a quick, powerful read full of techniques you can use anytime your nervous system hits “fight, flight, or freeze.” One of her central messages is liberating: defensiveness is normal. We all get triggered. What matters is how quickly and skillfully we can reset.

One of my personal favorites is ridiculously simple—and incredibly effective: hum for two minutes.

It works because the vagus nerve—the body’s master communication channel—runs right alongside your vocal cords. When you hum, gentle vibration soothes the nerve, sending calming signals from your brain through your entire body. It’s an effective way to:

• reduce racing thoughts
• calm anxiety
• improve sleep
• interrupt the fight-or-flight response

I hum when my mind is spinning at night and I can’t fall asleep. It works like magic, and it's just one of many vagus nerve reset exercises Anna shares.

Anna’s core self-leadership strategy is beautifully straightforward:
     Pause. Notice. Choose.
The pause interrupts old patterns. Noticing helps you tune in to what’s happening. And choosing puts you back in the driver’s seat.

Use Curiosity and Generative Questions for Better Holiday Conversations

That same spirit of grounded choice-making is woven throughout Conversations Worth Having. Jackie Stavros and Cheri Torres offer a similar centering practice:
Pause. Breathe. Get Curious.

That intentional breath alone helps activate the parasympathetic nervous system—a calming force in the body—and curiosity opens the door to empathy, connection, and openness. Instead of reacting defensively, you create space for a positive, productive conversation.

One of the most helpful practices in the book is asking generative questions—questions that expand your perspective, deepen understanding, and shift conversations from conflict to collaboration.

Here are a few questions you can keep in your back pocket this holiday season:

• What’s going on for me right now? What do I need?
• What story did I make up about what the other person said? Is it true?
• What’s most important to me about this relationship?
• What might I be missing? What don’t I know?
• Where do we have shared interests or a point of connection?
• What matters most to the other person in this moment?
• How do I want to feel at the end of this interaction—and what can I say or do to invite that outcome?
• How can I listen with genuine curiosity?

When you approach conversations this way, everything changes. These questions support emotional intelligence, relational wellbeing, and more intentional communication—all essential during stressful holiday moments.

A Thoughtful Gift for Stress Relief and Better Relationships

If you’re searching for a meaningful holiday gift, consider giving either—or both—of these books. They’re practical, evidence-based, and packed with tools that support:

• emotional resilience
• stress reduction
• healthy conversations
• personal wellbeing
• stronger relationships at home and at work

Together they will be a gift of wellbeing and a new year of conversations worth having!

Here’s to a holiday season filled with more ease, more connection, and conversations that leave you with fond memories of this holiday season!

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If you want to learn more...

Visit Anna Liotta's website. In addition to learning to calm your nervous system, Anna is an expert in generational leadership. You just might learn something on her site that will help you navigate intergenerational dynamics over the holidays!

Visit CWH's website and deepen your understanding of how to have a conversation worth having. Our blog is full of examples of how to turn a conversation heading south into one that is meaningful for everyone. Don't have time to read the whole book before the relatives shows up? We've got you covered! Take our on-demand 30-minute Foundations course that will fortify your ability to turn all your holiday conversations into ones worth having! Use coupon code HOLIDAYEASE to get 30% off!