They Get Angry Every Time I Say Something!

Mar 11, 2021
They Get Angry Every Time I Say Something - Conversations Worth Having

Monday Kickstarters is a working session designed for everyone on the call to figure out how to have conversations worth having when faced with a tough situation or problem. The process is based upon the book, Conversations Worth Having.  You can listen live to this session on Vimeo.

Monday, March 8 we discussed two topics: Framing a conversation when some people want to do things the way they’ve always done them and framing a conversation when some team members get angry anytime someone disagree with them.

Doing it the way we’ve always done it

  • Name it: We always do it this way. Our way works. You must do it our way.
  • Flip it: We don’t always do it the same way. We don’t have to do it our way.
  • Frame it: We’re excited to find innovative ways to move into the future.
  • Other possible frames that were suggested:
    • We find the best solutions because we are open to ideas.
    • The approach works for everyone
    • Exploring the Possibilities
    • We flex effectively according to current needs
    • We rise to challenges by adapting to our environment
    • Being open to ideas and information allows us to best serve our community.
    • We find ways of working the deliver the best results

Additional Generative Questions
  • How do we best prepare the needs we will have tomorrow?
  • What is one of the best things you do now to take into the futue?

Be sure to create a frame for the conversation that everyone in the conversation wants to participate in. One question about this frame might be: are those who want to do it their way, same old way going to be “excited to find innovative ways to move forward.” It might take a bit more “front loading” for this frame. In other words, you may have to start by sharing something like: “Our sector/customers/clients are changing and if we don’t change to meet their needs, we may be out of business. We’ve been very successful, so we might think it is simpler to do what we’ve always done. But, we know needs are changing and that will require us to change. Let’s talk about the best of what we do right now, things we know we need to bring forward, and then let’s imagine we’re excited to innovate new ways to move forward.” This provides sound reasons for the need to innovate AND it offers people a way to bring forward the best from the past, which often makes people more comfortable with change.

They get angry when someone disagrees

  • Name it: Some team members get angry if anyone disagrees with them.
  • Flip it: No one gets angry when people disagree.
  • Frame it: We have an environment where multiple perspective are valued and encouraged.
  • Lots of other great possible frames:
    • We work in a civil environment where ideas are shared and everyone is respected.
    • Everyone feels heard and has an opportunity to contribute.
    • We arrive at the best decisions because we are open to being challenged.
    • Team members value different perspectives.
    • We communicate effectively and respectfully.
    • We work in an environment where multiple perspectives are valued and encouraged.
    • We focus on the issues and outcomes, not on people.
    • Our organization values diverse thinking for the potential that it offers and the safe space we provide.
    • Team members value other opinions and diversity of thought.
    • Our effective teamwork is based in psychological safety.



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