Year End & New Year's Conversation Topics

As this year comes to an end and we welcome in a new year, why not end and begin with meaningful conversations that build connection, create shared understanding, and support positivity. 

Positivity is not just about being positive. It's about generating positive emotions, including such emotions as curiosity, interest, hope, and compassion. Three tips for these conversations:

1. Talk about desired outcomes and what you want more of for yourself and others.
2. Ask generative questions. These are what and how questions. (Why questions often put people on the defensive.)
3. Adopt an attitude of curiosity and learning. Listen and ask back to clarify and create connection. You don't have to agree; it's not about winning or convincing, it's about being present to one another and deepening understanding.

Here are three possible topics.

Shared Values

Many organizational leaders talk about developing shared values that support the kind of culture they want. Culture can be defined as "the way we do things around here." Why not do the same within your family. Here are some questions to inspire such conversations:

• Think of times in our family when you were grateful to be a part of it. Pick one of those times, a highpoint, and share it.
  • What did you value about yourself in your story? What did you value about others?
  • What behaviors on everyone's part contributed to it being a highpoint?
  • What are the 3-4 values that governed those behaviors?
  • Imagine we intentionally behaved this way for the coming year? What would that look, sound, and feel like for you? How might we make sure we do this?
• When our family is at its best together, what family values are guiding our behavior?
  • Which 3-5 of these values can we agree on as our collective family values that will help us be our best in 2025?
  • How shall we define these values?
  • In order to align with these values, what are the "do" behaviors and what are the "don't" behaviors?
  • How might we hold one another accountable in ways that align with these values?

Visions for 2025

Too often we keep our dreams and hopes to ourself. Perhaps we are embarrassed to share them, we're afraid we won't achieve them, or we feel like no one needs or wants to know them. However, when we share our dreams out loud, we have the opportunity to clarify them and others have the opportunity to help us achieve them. For these conversations, when someone shares their dreams or hopes, be open. Never judge someone's dream. Instead, ask generative questions.  Ask questions that:  

1. Make the invisible visible (e.g., disclose hidden beliefs or assumptions that might get in the way).
2. Gain shared understanding about the details helping them paint a vivid picture of their aspirations. (We move toward our visions; the bolder and more detailed the vision, the more likely we are to achieve it!)
3. Ask about and share the strengths the person has that will support success.
4. Explore opportunities that might lead to their dreams.
5. Clarify how they will know when they've achieved the dream.

Here are some generative questions you might ask:

• What's your dream or hope for yourself (or our family) for coming year? 
• Imagine we're having this conversation one year from now and you're telling me what has transpired over the year for you (or our family)? What has changed? What's different? What are you most proud of?
  • Tell me more about ...
  • What strengths do you bring to achieving this?  Here are some strengths I see in you that I think will also contribute.
  • What steps or opportunities might you take advantage of?
  • How might each of us best support you?

Contributing to Our Community

It's so easy to read the news and throw up our hands, feeling that there's nothing we can do about what's happening. But we can do something at the local level, beginning in our neighborhood, church, school, or town. If families and neighbors can find shared visions for what they want for their community, they can work together to make those visions real. The focus of our conversations followed by our collective action has the potential to move us toward a desired future! Here are some questions you might ask to inspire such action.

• If everyone in our community were able to contribute and thrive, what might be possible?
  
  • What would it take for everyone to have an opportunity to contribute?
  • What would thriving look like?
  • How might this benefit our community (church, neighborhood)?
• How will we know when this is happening? What will we see, hear, and feel when we walk around and talk with others?
• What's currently happening that will be good for us to continue?
• What's currently happening that we should stop or change?
• What can we start doing that will support that future?
• What can each of us do starting in January? What is your commitment?

Share Your Best Family Conversations

What have been your best family conversations? Please share the topics and the questions people asked so others might follow your lead. If you have any of the above conversations, please share the outcomes. You will inspire others to take a deeper dive during the holidays and into 2025!

Wishing everyone inspiring and meaningful conversations now and in the coming year.

Shared by Cheri Torres, PhD I was inspired to write this because of a TikTok video by areola.aloa and because I truly believe the only way for us to heal our nation is to begin to have meaningful conversations beyond our differences. Conversations that show us how much we have in common and about how to achieve our collective shared hopes for our families, communities, and organizations.

Photo credit: pexels-cottonbro-5791658 on pexels.com